Sometimes when I perform badly or less than my standard, I wonder if it is still worth it. If I am chasing an impossible thing. If I'm just living a lie.
It takes time to improve, I know. But I had all the time when I was younger but I did not make use of it. Beyond bad habits, I have serious reasons why I am not as capable. I do not want those to stop me however.
At the end of the day, I know, in my heart, that I really want them. But there are just times when I feel like I will not get over the anxiety and everything else.
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